emo rant/"why can't you just say thank you"

I said I would post again when this happened. The end is near! I decided to evolve @ lvl 42.

Btw, where is Davido, the one who originally wanted to start a blog? :P

So, someone gave me an inferno.

Then this happened, and I felt kind of sad, because bzels are worthless now.


I probably started playing Lineage...8 years ago? In all that time, this is the first time anyone has given me anything, and it was definitely hard to accept. Ignoring my own crazy personal issues of never being able to say "thank you", and always instead insisting that I am not worthy of a gift etc...in MMORPGS I definitely feel like girls have to hold themselves to a higher standard. I think there's always this assumption if you have good gear or items, it's because you used certain physical assets to extort them from male nerds. &I definitely remember when I played L2, there was a girl with godly gear who did not hide the fact that her "e-bf" gave them to her, and oh, she could ask him for money or whatnot whenever she needed it.

I am not a "good" player in L1. I think, at least, in WOW, I was really good...except for my periodic ADD, and not knowing how to PVP worth a damn. Arena teams where people yell mass dispell at you, what? Definitely I have the same flaws in Lin, cannot pvp...sometimes I get distracted etc :P. But I'm an ok player, right?!

&so, it was very hard for me to take this. I guess I tried to imagine all the people IRL that I have annoyed by not just taking a gift and saying "thank you".

So maybe I am some sort of Lineage slut now. Or a regular person. Maybe regular friends routinely give gifts to one another. What a fine line to walk!